Friendships have always been a sensitive topic for me. I was raised with the belief of “no hay amigos en la vida.” Translation: In life, there is no such thing as friends. I know it may seem a little cold and I grew up believing just that, but as a 22-year-old female who has had “best friends” who have come and walked out of my life so fast, that has shown me that mother does always know best.
A lot of my friendships have taken an emotional rollercoaster and I’m here to save you from wasting your time on yours. So how do you decide if you should ditch the bestie?
1. They bring a negative vibe
Friendships should always be fun and a way for you to get away from your real life problems. If this person is creating these problems in your life, you should walk away and leave that negativity behind. You don’t need that toxicity in your life.
2. The friendship is not 50/50
A friendship is like any relationship, you give and take but if all you see from them is take take take, then you should go go go.
Manipulation is not ok in any relationship. Need I say more? It’s hard to understand and see manipulation when it’s happening but if your other friends are telling you that your bestie is manipulating you, maybe you should step back and reflect on your relationship with your BFF.
4. They’re not empathetic
Friends are meant to help you through tough times and listen to you when you need that guidance. If this person is constantly putting you down or ignoring your feelings, do you really need someone to make you feel bad 24/7?
5. They’re not making your life better
I’m a strong believer in being surrounded by people that make you a better person. If your bestie is not doing that then what’s their purpose in your life? Your close group of friends essentially are your tribe. Make sure that your tribe is there to lift you and help you overcome obstacles, not create them.
6. Always Playing the Victim
As a best friend, you will always be there for yours, but what do you do in the situation where they’re wrong? If your bestie is constantly making you feel sorry for them or playing the victim in any situation, that is not ok for your mental health and it’s just another sign you should walk away.
7. Taking Advantage of You
I will always be there for my friends but sometimes those “friends” will take advantage of you, either emotionally, mentally, financially, etc. and when you (or people outside of the relationship) take notice of this, that is where you must step aside and put yourself first.
Best friends should always make you a better person but if they’re not even doing that, that’s when you know that you need to walk away, no matter how “fun” it is to have them in your life.
Adios borrachxs! 💋