Dating is an art and sadly I was born with no artistic ability whatsoever. I’ve heard, time and time again, that the friend zone is where relationships go to die and I am here to tell you that… this is absolutely true but fret not, maybe this is where you’d like to be. Hear me out for a sec, do you really want a boy to text you 24/7 about how much he misses you and loves you and how he wouldn’t know what to do without you? No! You want a boy that texts you funny memes and you can go out drinking on the weekends with and on the flip side, there is no obligation to sleep with him at the end of said drunken nights. See, doesn’t that sound much better?
Fun nights with no strings attached 😏 I’m here to tell you exactly how to get into the friend zone and stay there *willingly of course.*
1. Find out what they like
This is the start of any friendship OR relationship. You have to know what they’re into, what if you don’t even like them as a person and now you’re stuck with them forever. Nope, know their deepest darkest secret because then they’ll trust you ~ like a sister ~
2. Talk about their love life
This is a clear way to throw them off the trail that you might be into them. What kind of ~ sane ~ person would ask their crush about their love life? No one. No sane person would ask their crush about their love life especially if said love life isn’t with them, but here at Lipstick & Vodka, we like to throw all stereotypes out the door 🙆
3. Tell them all your crazy relationship stuff
Because your crush would love to hear how crazy you really are before getting into any relationship with you. This will, for sure, make them think you’re perfect, especially after you told them how you once Facebook stalked your, now ex-boyfriend’s, kindergarten girlfriend because you were jealous. #NoShame
4. Don’t compliment them
Your crush already feels the sexual tension you’re throwing at them so what do you do? You throw them off again by telling them they’re not as cute as think they are, or better yet, tell them they’re ugly entirely. 😈
5. Call them when you’re drunk
What better way to seal the deal than with a drink… or 7. Calling them drunk shows them that you trust them enough to call them drunk with your drunk confessions. This will for sure place you in the friend zone for life.
Now that we have that situated, go out and apply these rules out into the real world.
Single Pringles for life 👯 because every socially awkward girl needs her friends by her side.
Good luck! and adios borrachas! 💋