We, ladies, for the most part dread that time of the month and what all comes with it. So let’s just talk about some of those dreaded things.
1. BLOOD
Plain and simple, the blood is probably the grossest thing we have to endure every month. First off I hate blood, I don’t like seeing it, especially when I am the source of it. Thankfully, as a daughter of a Hispanic woman, who seems to have no filter, I knew that my insides would turn on me and pour out once a month, but when I was younger I saw this as my badge of women-hood. I had finally crossed the line from girl to young lady, but what everyone seemed to forget to mention was that this RED badge does not only bring pride, but brings stains and cramps and insecurities for a week.
2. FEMININE PRODUCTS
As a young girl going through this, I was embarrassed of announcing it to the world. I mean what person wants to know if I’m leaking red liquid? No one! My older sisters insisted that I walk down the feminine product aisle, grab the pack of pads that seemed to suit my flow that month, and walk proudly around the drugstore with them until I found my mom. WORST IDEA EVER! My face burned up once I stepped out the aisle, I felt as if everyone watched me take every step judging me, and as soon as they read “SUPER” on the label would assume my period was like a giant waterfall that could not be stopped and it would burst at any moment! I mean it was my first time getting it SUPER was always a good thing!
Speaking of firsts, the first time I ever even thought of using a tampon was my junior in high school. My mother swore that tampons “eran del diablo” meaning they were items of the devil.(There goes my mother’s Mexican superstition. Everything is bad) My mother always tried to scare us some how or the other, but my junior year I had finally reached my state competition for power lifting and apparently we could not use underwear under our competitions suits, and Mother Nature wanted to watch me compete as well, so I bought my first tampons. Of course many thoughts went through my head such as “where does it go”, “What if I put it in the wrong whole” haha, yes this was my thought, and also “How on Earth do I get it out!” Thankfully, I had my best friend talking to me through the bathroom door answering these questions, and did y’all know tampon boxes come with instructions?! Apparently I’m not the only one who is confused.
It is safe to say el diablo did not come for me that night and I am alive to tell the tale haha
3. PAINS
Pains can mean cramps to you, or sharp pains in your ovaries, but I have back pains! They make you feel like your back is being bent like an exorcism movie and you must move like a 90 year old penguin all while trying not to spill this red magical goo. It attacks you at different times of the day, it may last minutes or hours. Yes there is medication, but I am quite stubborn when it comes to medication, so I take it like a woman! haha I almost said man, but after reading so far, who’s really the strongest of the sexes? *wink wink*
I’ve never had cramps to tell you the truth, but if you have, you may tell your story of them down below 🙂
4. STAINS
As hard as you try. as many layers as you apply, stains do happen.
DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT USE YOUR FAVORITE UNDIES DURING THIS WEEK!
They should not even be an option. They will most likely get ruined in the bloody battle and you will regret it. Believe me. Opt out for some solid, dark, comfortable undies for this week. Lace, thongs, and any cute print is not in my draw during this week.
5. BLOATING
Boom! Done! That’s all there is to say about this.
Okay, seriously, this is the spawn of Satan! You don’t want to look like a total slob when friends come over so you finally reach for adult clothes, like jeans and a blouse, to only be confronted by an inflated version of yourself in the mirror. I’m serious y’all, pants will fit me one day and the next I’m ready to return them back to the store! This is where the insecurities kick in. I don’t want to go out because I’ll look like a sausage link trying to fit into my clothes! If my clothes don’t fit nothing else will look good, and it continues to go down hill from there!
If you can relate to any of this, I hope you laugh with me.
xoxo, K