To All The Men I’ve Dated: It’s Not Me, It’s You.

Being single for so long I’ve often wondered why I haven’t found someone worth dating. I’ve come to the conclusion that I intimidate guys with my great achievements like writing this blog, working for a PR firm, my flawless winged liner, and handling my liquor better than most men. The list is endless but I have a few flaws too, I guess. Here are a few reasons where I might be scaring them off…

1. I’m on Tinder: Let’s be real. Tinder is not the ideal place to meet the man of your dreams especially when you’re swiping left 99% of the time because they’re lame AF.
2. I’m a Bad Texter: Okay, so my personality is awesome in person, it’s just in a text I don’t get to shine. They don’t understand my sense of humor in a text and I can’t read their body language to see if I’m making them uncomfortable ?

3. My Personality: I just said my personality is awesome and I stand by that statement. The only thing is men nowadays can’t take a little sarcasm, let alone my level of sarcasm.  I’m sarcastic AF & guys can’t appreciate it the way I need them to.

4. I’m Lipstick and Vodka: My blog is a big part of my life and so is alcohol. Alcohol includes drunk texting (‘Nuf said).

5. Affection IS One-Sided: By one-sided I mean I’m affectionate but you can’t be. I’m a girl boss in the making which may come off as cold because I tend to not have time to do anything but work until I want to love you and hold you all the time. Then you can’t save yourself from all this ~shimmys awkwardly~

6. I’m Bold: I believe in honesty no matter how much it will hurt someone. If you can’t take my honesty I can’t take your love.

7. I Love My Bed More: I like my bed too much which means I’ll sleep with it more than you.

8. Feelings? What are those?: I naturally can’t take someone seriously so I tend to be very cold towards the people I date. When a man has tried to be serious with me I tend to joke about it, ultimately making him walk away ~shrugs~

For the men who’ve dated me, I’m sorry you missed out.
For the men, I will date, good luck.
Adios borrachas!

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