DISCLAIMER: This is an opinion and not at all based on any situation and nor do we, at Lipstick and Vodka, wish this situation upon anyone.
“The heart wants what the heart wants”
Everyone stands by this and is all for it until the heart wants a taken man. This phrase doesn’t change just because that man has a wedding band around his finger, nope. In fact, my heart doesn’t give a fuck if you’re wearing a ring and I think a lot of people forget this.
Ok, so he has a wife or girlfriend (congrats for him??) but dating a man that is taken isn’t a one-way street. People are so fast to blame the “other woman” but what about the man who said “I do” and made promises he obviously didn’t keep?
Most relationships don’t start off with the intention to cause any problems but rather blossom from a friendship. That brings up another question: can men and women be friends?
The “other woman” shouldn’t take the blame for this home breaking apart, why? Her responsibility is not your home. Her main priority, just like everyone else, is herself.
If you’re the wife, I totally understand why you’re angry but your anger should not be directed towards her but instead should be directed towards your partner. He’s the one who had the responsibility to take care of your home, he’s the one who had the responsibility of fulfilling his promise he made to you.
You’re probably wondering why this topic is even coming up on the blog but some of my married friends talk about this pretty often in a hypothetic scenario (obviously) and as a single female I keep thinking, “if I find myself in a similar situation, how did I get myself there?”
My answer is simple. I’m not living my life tippy-toeing around. No, I’m living life trying to find my happiness just like everyone else.
You’re probably thinking “but you’re ruining someone else’s happiness,” well this is obviously a lie. If your husband was truly happy and your life was all fine and dandy then I wouldn’t be able to break that apart, but yet here I am. I’m probably being selfish but when it comes to your life and happiness, you should be a little selfish.
I’ll be speaking about this on the podcast later this week, but what are your thoughts on this topic?
Adios Borrachxs! ?
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this is such a controversial topic, very brave for being so open. reading your post, I find myself falling in the middle somewhere. I totally agree with all your points do not get me wrong but from my personal experience I hated her just much as him. I also think these days some women are so quick to judge each other because they can be too scared of blaming the man because they do not wish to be alone maybe?
Amanda, thank you for replying and being so understanding. Actions with ill intent will never be justifiable and of course, every situation is different, but when love is mixed in I think anything goes. Of course, it will all change if I was the wife in the situation but at the end, it all falls on him because he was the one who promised me everything, she at the end, still owes me nothing.
I think a lot of women have been fed the idea of a man and that does make them fear to be alone and blaming the “other woman,” the woman who broke the home, is totally the easy way out because why blame yourself on not being able to make the relationship work when you have a scapegoat. I’ve been cheated on and after really looking at my relationship from the outside I saw where I failed.
I’ve been the other woman, and I’ve been the wife. Being the Other Woman is your problem, simply because all you’re getting is a person at their worst. You’re picking up someone who is mid-lie, betraying someone’s confidence and taking unnecessary risks. You’re never getting the real person, you’re never getting what you deserve. If a person feels they deserve a man (or a woman) at their worst? You’re wrong, you deserve better.